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grumpysalmon:

How many people have broken into a store late at night to steal a cook book because they were hungry and wanted to know how to cook the perfect bean casserole? I’ll give you a hint: please bail me out of jail

commanderalexander:

after finding out that he:
image

is the same age as him:
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I no longer feel like I look younger than I actually am

"The scariest part about letting someone in is that they could take one look inside of you and never come back."
-And I’ve Got to Protect Myself (#315: March 20, 2014)

warsquirtle:

Money-wise I’m set for life, provided I die next tuesday

putins-boyfriend:

ashestoashesjc:

I regret nearly everything I did between the ages of birth and however old I was yesterday. 

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


me:  I'm so cute
me 15 mins later:  I hate myself